42,773. The number of people who have committed suicide in the United States in 2016, with the number still rising. There have been 727 deaths in Kentucky alone. On average, one person takes their life approximately every 12 hours in the state. It is the second-leading cause of death for ages 15-34, and the fourth-leading cause for ages 10-14. Many of these names may go unnoticed, but out of that 42,773 there is one Connor McGee.

A passionate and outgoing person, Connor was very well liked among his peers and family. His parents, Tim and Valerie McGee, described him as a free-spirited individual whom everyone loved being around.

“He was a very social person, very outgoing; he was very compassionate. He had a lot of friends,” Tim McGee said.

“Connor was very passionate, kind, thoughtful, and caring,” Valerie McGee said. “His sense of humor was one of his most endearing qualities. He had the ability to make anyone smile or laugh in any situation. There was truly never a dull moment with Connor. Everyone who met him was immediately warmed by his kind heart.  He brightened the lives of everyone he met. He sensed if you were unhappy and would do anything to cheer you up. Connor never met a stranger — he greeted everyone he saw and treated them like a friend.”

Connor was born with neurofibromatosis, a rare genetic disease. The disease could cause tumors to grow anywhere in his body and cause him to have learning disabilities. Connor was fortunate to have NF1 and mild learning disabilities in the form of ADD. His parents learned after his death that his disease put him at a four-times-greater risk for suicide.

They also found out after his death that the disease could cause mental illness. Connor attended Ascension Grade School, where he played football, basketball and baseball. He then went to Trinity, where he played football, basketball, wrestling and volleyball, and graduated in 2006.

At Trinity Connor helped create the first drumline, still a popular group. He also loved guitar and taught himself to play. Connor was also a part of the ECHO newspaper while at Trinity and loved photography. But his favorite thing in the world was skiing; he was in the club at Trinity and many times went skiing on his own. 

Connor went on to Murray State for three years before transferring to Indiana University Southeast to be closer to home.

Valerie McGee said, “Connor was one of a kind. His creativity was one of his greatest strengths, which fueled his passion for the arts: photography, music, playing the guitar and drums, and writing. He also loved sports, especially soccer, football, basketball, skiing.”

Amid all the happiness, however, there was a dark shadow over Connor for a couple of years.

“Looking back now, there was a series of events that happened to him — and his stressors just outweighed his coping skills,” Valerie McGee said.

Connor was assaulted in February of 2015. He reported the assault to the University of Louisville but got no help, and his attacker was never caught.  Connor then injured himself and had immense back pain, which brought about emotional pain.

Problems continued in April 2015 when he got a DUI and had his license taken away. He and his girlfriend of five years had also just agreed to take a break so Connor could “get some things together” in life. He felt like he had nothing to offer her at the time.

To make matters worse, Connor began comparing his life to those of others. “He was comparing himself to where he thought he should be and where other people were at, which is an awful thing to do,” Valerie McGee said.

Despite all the problems he had experienced, his parents said, weeks before his death Connor was getting things together.

Valerie McGee said, “He was telling us about all the things he was going to do. He was lining up his life. He was going to start a full-time job. He lined up that they were going to be paying for his tuition, he and his girlfriend got some of their student loans forgiven, he was lining up his life, and he was taking care of business. We thought he was turning his life around.”

Negative thoughts, however, continued. Connor felt like a burden to some; he began to have trouble sleeping and had mood swings. Connor also began cutting himself, something no one knew.

Connor took his life in September 2015. No one saw it coming, not friends or family.

“He did a very good job at hiding his depression. I mean he was the happiest depressed person,” Valerie McGee said.

The biggest thing about suicide is that it is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Suicide is preventable, the McGees reiterated repeatedly. “Nobody should ever feel that suicide is the only way out,” Tim McGee said.

The only way to raise awareness about suicide is to talk about the issue, which many are reluctant to do. For some people, there is a strong stigma attached to suicidal individuals, labeling them as “crazy.”

The McGees have turned their son’s death into a “new passion” by helping other families and those feeling depressed all over the state. Their focus is to raise awareness of suicide, to bring it “out of darkness” so people throughout the country can understand that suicide is never the answer — that there is always another solution.

The annual Out of the Darkness walk was held Nov. 5 at Waterfront Park. It was intended to raise awareness about suicide and help prevent it. People could walk to save lives, walk to honor loved ones, and walk to raise funds. The walk offers a chance to come together and to offer compassionate healing to those devastated by the loss of a loved one.

According the McGees, “After you have someone close to you take their life, it’s like you have PTSD; it’s like a bomb went off.”

Trinity teacher and counselor Mr. Mike Magre said walks, such as Out of the Darkness, help raise awareness and really let people know they can get help. They give people a sense of advocacy. He also pointed out that we can and should spend more resources on mental health issues.

Anyone who is depressed or showing signs of suicidal actions, should seek help. They should talk to a counselor, parents, friends — anyone — about their problems. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is always available.

Magre said, “We (need to) take suicide more seriously and be more aware that it is, in fact, a problem. You know our natural tendency when someone says something about killing themselves is that they can’t be serious — and that needs to change.”

Gallery • 23 Photos

photos by Josh Willis

The Out of the Darkness walk took place Nov. 5 at the Waterfront Park.

Hundreds took part in the powerful Out of the Darkness walk on Nov. 5.  Videos by Josh Willis